SABADELL, SPAIN — Esther Fernández, 45, was desperate for a divorce. A hairdresser, she had fallen in love with another man, who was dying of cancer.
Her husband, Gaby Cuadrado, 47, had lost his factory job. Selling their house in a depressed market in this sleepy city outside Barcelona was impossible. Neither could afford a second home. They were already struggling to pay their mortgage. An expensive divorce was out of the question.
So for two years she stuck it out, leaving before dawn, hiding from Mr. Cuadrado, who said he became so obsessed with his wife that he would spy on her from his car. She had panic attacks. “I felt trapped,” she said.
It was even worse for him. The situation, Mr. Cuardado said, pushed him to the brink of suicide. “Being forced to live with a woman I loved who had rejected me was psychological torture,” he said. They finally divorced in November, after moving to tiny apartments in bad parts of town.
If marriage is for better or worse, richer or poorer, then these are the worst of times for a poorer Spain. Couples are paying the emotional price, especially when they cannot afford the price of divorce.
Fewer of them can. Accounts from judges, divorce lawyers and therapists — as well as couples themselves — indicate that many Spaniards are staying in troubled relationships longer as a result of an economic crisis that has ground on for nearly five years.
Last year, the number of divorces in Spain dropped 17 percent compared with 2006, according to the Spanish Judicial Council, a national association that represents the country’s judges. The divorce rate jumped in 2006 after changes to the divorce law made it easier to split up in 2005, but it has fallen with the crisis in Spain’s economy, according to the council.
“There is no doubt that the crisis is pushing people to stay together,” said José María Redondo, the council’s spokesman, who attributed the drop in the divorce rate to a burst housing bubble and hard economic times.
The crisis is not only slowing divorces but also transforming the process, according to divorce lawyers. Judges are reducing alimony payments and dueling spouses have moved from fighting over property to sparring over the critical issue of who assumes debts.
Some couples are literally dividing their homes in two, by sticking tape across the floor, said Álvaro Cavia, a leading Barcelona-based divorce lawyer. Unable to afford a divorce, other couples live together even as they engage openly in other romantic relationships.
Squabbles over money — or the lack of it — are the biggest source of contention among couples seeking to mend fraying relationships, according to Myka Pedrero, a family psychologist in a suburb of Barcelona, who counseled Ms. Fernández, her sister.
It is worst for jobless couples, she said, not just because of the money strains, but because they often spend all day together at home, treading on each others’ nerves. When warring couples share the same quarters it is especially confusing for children unable to accept their parents’ break-ups, she said.
“The crisis makes things worse as it adds huge pressures to marriages when you don’t have a job and can’t pay the bills,” she said. “When people who want to split are forced to stay together it pollutes the whole ecosystem that is the family and drives both the man and the woman crazy.”
Until the crisis exploded, legal experts say, divorce was widely accepted as the easiest exit from a bad marriage after decades during which it was prohibited during the Franco dictatorship.
Divorce was first legalized in Spain 1981 but the law required couples to legally separate first, a period of reflection aimed at safeguarding the family in a socially conservative, Catholic country. The change in the law in 2005 has allowed couples to get “express divorces” without any separation. Couples need to have been married for at least three months to qualify.
Even when couples can afford a divorce, the economic crisis has added new complications.
Hard Times in Spain Force Feuding Couples to Delay Divorce
This article
Hard Times in Spain Force Feuding Couples to Delay Divorce
can be opened in url
http://newsservant.blogspot.com/2012/12/hard-times-in-spain-force-feuding.html
Hard Times in Spain Force Feuding Couples to Delay Divorce
